“When I grow my Afro I’m gonna be a very successful man!”
i'm a middle school teacher in a urban public school district. the students i work with say some crazy-ass shit - some hilarious, and some just downright messed up. here is the best of the best!
Ask me anything
May 24, 2012
May 18, 2012
During a convo about how many years of school (post-HS) you need to do for certain jobs…
Kid: 8 years!!! (in response to becoming a doctor)
Me: Yeah but you end up making a lot of money so it’s kind of worth it in the end.
Kid: what about Scientists?
Me: At least 4, usually more!
Kid: Man! They may have a lot of money but it’s no wonder that Scientists don’t have a lot of girlfriends!
May 8, 2012
When a girl was whining about a guy having her pen…
Me: You’re just going to have to duke it out with him.
Class: OHHHHH!!!
Me: What?!? It means to work it out!
Boy: miss, that’s not what duke means to us! Duke means this [thrusting his groin and hands together fast and furioously]. Like when you duke a girl in her booty!
April 27, 2012
In response to the current insult of, “I’m valid and you’re salad!”: “I’m wavy and you’re gravy!”
April 27, 2012
“Miss, the ghetto is turning you into something you don’t wanna be!”
April 27, 2012
After a student got an invitation to a formal school event, her friend told her that he went last year and the food was whack. I explained how it was good food, but fancy food that she might not be used to. Her response: “Fancy food? You mean I’m gonna eat white people food?”
April 24, 2012
“I’m valid and you’re salad!”
April 5, 2012
Miss, what’s a dragon queen?
April 4, 2012
Kid 1: Every time I laugh at someone something bad happens.
Me: Maybe that’s because you shouldn’t be laughing at people! Have you ever heard of karma??
Kid 1: What?! Karma’s a store!
Kid 2: No… Karma is a club on the Jersey Shore!
March 27, 2012
Screaming: My ball’s attached to my leg!! I gotta stretch them out!!
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