“but I don’t have a third eye!”
overheard during yoga, while the instructor was telling my kids to put their third eye on their mat.
i'm a middle school teacher in a urban public school district. the students i work with say some crazy-ass shit - some hilarious, and some just downright messed up. here is the best of the best!
Ask me anything
February 6, 2013
mini yogis
December 13, 2012
While making holiday cards to send to a senior center…
Kid 1: What do old people like??
Kid 2: Kids!
Kid 3: TV!
Kid 4: Dentures!
November 8, 2012
While discussing the electoral college:
Kid: Which one am I? (Democrat or Republican)
Me: Well, it depends on what you believe in.
Kid: Which one is blue?
Me: Democrats
Kid: K I’m that one!
October 1, 2012
While working in the garden…
Do you know what beets are?
Kid: Yeah - headphones!
June 5, 2012
Me: When thinking about the Atlantic Sturgeon, when we see the word ‘Atlantic’ that tells us that the fish is from…
Kid 1: Atlanta!
Me: No…
Kid 1: Atlantic City?!
Kid 2: No! The Atlantic Ocean dummy!!
May 24, 2012
“When I grow my Afro I’m gonna be a very successful man!”
May 18, 2012
During a convo about how many years of school (post-HS) you need to do for certain jobs…
Kid: 8 years!!! (in response to becoming a doctor)
Me: Yeah but you end up making a lot of money so it’s kind of worth it in the end.
Kid: what about Scientists?
Me: At least 4, usually more!
Kid: Man! They may have a lot of money but it’s no wonder that Scientists don’t have a lot of girlfriends!
May 8, 2012
When a girl was whining about a guy having her pen…
Me: You’re just going to have to duke it out with him.
Class: OHHHHH!!!
Me: What?!? It means to work it out!
Boy: miss, that’s not what duke means to us! Duke means this [thrusting his groin and hands together fast and furioously]. Like when you duke a girl in her booty!
April 27, 2012
In response to the current insult of, “I’m valid and you’re salad!”: “I’m wavy and you’re gravy!”
April 27, 2012
“Miss, the ghetto is turning you into something you don’t wanna be!”
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