May 8, 2012

When a girl was whining about a guy having her pen…

Me: You’re just going to have to duke it out with him.

Class: OHHHHH!!!

Me: What?!? It means to work it out!

Boy: miss, that’s not what duke means to us! Duke means this [thrusting his groin and hands together fast and furioously]. Like when you duke a girl in her booty!

April 27, 2012

In response to the current insult of, “I’m valid and you’re salad!”: “I’m wavy and you’re gravy!”

April 27, 2012

"Miss, the ghetto is turning you into something you don’t wanna be!"

April 27, 2012

After a student got an invitation to a formal school event, her friend told her that he went last year and the food was whack. I explained how it was good food, but fancy food that she might not be used to. Her response: “Fancy food? You mean I’m gonna eat white people food?”

April 24, 2012

"I’m valid and you’re salad!"

April 5, 2012

Miss, what’s a dragon queen?

April 4, 2012

Kid 1: Every time I laugh at someone something bad happens.

Me: Maybe that’s because you shouldn’t be laughing at people! Have you ever heard of karma??

Kid 1: What?! Karma’s a store!

Kid 2: No… Karma is a club on the Jersey Shore!

March 27, 2012

Screaming: My ball’s attached to my leg!! I gotta stretch them out!!

March 8, 2012

Kid: [whining]I don’t wanna write, yo!

Me: Can you please speak a little more appropriately for school?

Kid: Like what? Yo?

Me: Yep.

Kid: Miss, I live in the hood.

March 5, 2012
Math means…

Math means…

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